The irony of having a personality crisis at the centre of Sonic Unleashed is simply too wonderful to ignore. For more years than we care to remember, Sega’s once proud mascot has been struggling to find a place in a world with one more dimension than he can reasonably use. Sonic was more than happy travelling left to right in the shortest time possible, then his portly Italian rival went 3D, changed the world, and left the ’hog languishing in 16-bit. The Sonic faithful have been waiting for their own Mario 64 moment ever since, but have received little more than a series of metaphorical kicks to the balls instead.

In truth, Mario’s more leisurely exploration was always better suited to three dimensions than Sonic’s impatient sprinting. Until now, the technology necessary to recreate the speed and vibrancy of the Green Hill Zone didn’t exist, but the aging fan base isn’t likely to entertain too many more excuses. If Mirror’s Edge is possible, then so should a decent stab at Sonic The Hedgehog. First, the good news: half of Sonic Unleashed delivers exactly that. Now, the bad: the other half is like seeing Mario set about his latest adventure in blackface.

The decision to curse Sonic with an affliction that turns him into a Werehog – with stretchy arms, no less – at the mere sniff of a full moon is, with the best will in the world, a cock-up. Indeed, we’d like to put it more bluntly, but decorum and the Obscene Publications Act forbids us from using the sort of four-letter words such ‘creativity’ demands. Is this an attempt to appeal to the original Sonic audience, most of which will now be pushing 30 and exist solely on a diet of hardcore games? That’s certainly what it feels like, and a major problem with Sonic Unleashed is that it doesn’t seem to know exactly which age group it’s gunning for.

The sub-Devil May Cry fighting and sub-Prince Of Persia exploration in the Werehog levels will be far too hard for young children, but they don’t feature the kind of depth necessary to satisfy a more seasoned gamer either. The fact that there is gameplay of any significant difficulty is further undermined by the truly appalling cut-scenes. Just as we couldn’t imagine a seven-year-old getting to grips with the Werehog, nor can we envision a longstanding Sonic fan spending any time in the company of these characters without forcibly inserting sharp objects into their eyes. We ask again, who is Sonic Unleashed for? Based on this evidence, someone who’s always wished for the ’hog to be voiced by a reject from High School Musical. Those people exist, no doubt, but there isn’t the slightest chance that any of them read this magazine.

Yet the worst, most irritating, unforgivable and repugnant thing about Sonic Unleashed is that, at the best of times, it is actually rather fun. The snail-paced Werehog levels eat up a disproportionate amount of your time, but those moments in the bright sunshine – with Sonic as lightning quick and free from fur as he was in the halcyon days of 1991 – offer a dispiritingly brief glimpse of what could have been. The gameplay is over-encumbered by a baffling array of orbs, diamonds, medals and a superfluous levelling-up system, but as you tear through the multi-layered levels, chaining attacks, surfing rails and sliding under low obstacles all without breaking your stride, the golden age of Sonic doesn’t seem like such a distant memory.

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